Life gets in the way. It gets in the way of life, of picking up the remaining fall leaves, of dusting the cobwebs out of the corners, and of doing the laundry. And it gets in the way of posting on Facebook.
But kicking someone when they’re down or nagging them about their absence on Facebook isn’t helpful.
Is anyone else aware of any posting frequency rules that Facebook has implemented? I’m not. Obviously, though, there must be an unwritten rule about how long one can stay silent on this social media site, because I’ve been getting constant reminders from Facebook that I’ve been silent for too long.
What does my silence and absence mean to the Facebook folks? How do they interpret that? Are they afraid that I’m off dilly dallying on some other social media site sharing copious details about my day-to-day activities? If so, that’s quite an assumption. I’m not being given the benefit of the doubt here. Even if I am somewhere else on the web frittering away hours on other social media sites, I don’t recall signing an exclusivity contract with Facebook.
So what if I have 185 new notifications waiting for me on Facebook? Is the world going to stop if I don’t comment on someone’s delectable meal at a local eatery? Will I prevent an asteroid from blasting the earth to smithereens if I don’t click “Like” on someone’s inspirational quote, daily affirmation or cute Boston Terrier photo?
Give me a break, Facebook. It’s not all about you and your schedule of needs. Besides, how can you possibly notice the absence of this one utterly non-influential subscriber? I am NOT the butterfly that flaps its wings clear across the globe, creating significant, noticeable changes on the other side. Ninety-nine percent of the time I’ve got nuthin’. NUTHIN’.
Hey, I completed our local weekly paper’s extremely difficult crossword puzzle the other day! How about that, Facebook? Is that newsworthy enough for you? Oh, yeah, I also added mulch to my vegetable garden. And I made a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Alert the media! Star that post on Facebook!
This ongoing pressure to get a life is getting irritating. Even more irritating and stressful is the demand to share these events and incidents that constitute getting a life. From Pinterest to Twitter to Facebook, everyone seems to want a piece of us. And social media experts think they’re being so very helpful when they offer up their “15 Things to Post or Tweet About.” Well, people, I notice that “posting what you ate for breakfast” isn’t on those lists, yet people far more interesting than I continue to leave those fascinating bits of detritus all over the web.
All of these social media sites demand that we be much more than we are: a sofa-squatting, idle, inconsequential passenger on a train to Dullsville. What’s wrong with Dullsville, anyway? My people in Dullsville are perfectly content. They don’t feel pressured to get a life. Life happens all around us here in Dullsville. I can see large pieces of it passing by my giant living room window. My dogs bark at these pieces to let me know that all is safe in Dullsville, yet so very threatening outside.
Dullsville is a fine place to live. We have running water and indoor plumbing here, too. We might not have that ski trip to Aspen or the overseas vacation in Paris, but we’ve got a nice backyard that needs tending to. We’ve got crossword puzzles to work, muffins to bake, and trips to the thrift shop. It’s fine here, perfectly fine.
Busy, so very busy
Don’t pester me. I’m busy.
I refuse to get a life just to satisfy the Facebook bean counters. I don’t have time to get a life, anyway. I’m busy here, not getting a life. So there.
There ah profits to be made. Do not ignore us! Vee have ways to make you comply. Publish or perish fräulein.
I might have to invest in a proxy or robot to post for me. Or, I can continue to defy Facebook until they ban me. Either way, I so little care.
In that case my dear, there will be a gentlemen caller visiting you who goes by the mane of Guido who perhaps will, shall we say, persuade you to see things our way.
I understand your reluctance Jean. I’m getting there more and more often and in fact find myself unmotivated to write on anything this week. I have honey-do’s that need to be done and some preparation for what hopefully will be a productive vegetable garden later this year.
Do stay in touch with us all every now and then though.
I’m with you, Larry. My 88-year old mom is now living with me. Life has changed dramatically. Not for the worse, at all! I love having her here. I recognize and accept that some things I used to do will have to go away or just be put on hold occasionally.
Yep, they are only reminding you because they want you to look at their ads. They don’t care whether you post or not–just look at the ads!
[applause] Great post! Totally agree!! I just deleted yet another nag email from Facebore, and I’ve been thinking the same thing: seems like the nagging has gotten a bit more strident lately. I’ve been meaning to see if there is some setting that controls the frequency (or even getting them at all), but that would mean logging in, and that always makes my skin crawl a little.
I know – the nagging began about a few weeks ago and they think they can soften it up by using my first name. How utterly annoying.
I just learned to my dismay that, if you comment on someone’s whatever (“status update”?), you get an email every time someone else comments on the same thing (like WP does, but allows you to control).
So annoying is right. And my email package (Windows Mail) thinks all emails from Facebore are Phishing attempts for some reason. I suppose maybe it’s right.
Loved this! Amen!
There must be a Facebook setting where you can tick “Do not send me reminder messages… ever!”
I bet there isn’t. Facebook has exclusive rights to annoy its users.
I don’t do Facebook so I don’t know what all the hub-bub is about. But life is good here in Dullsville, especially when ya occasionally take a little side-trip to Psychedelicville.
Yeah, I need to take that side-trip. Desperately.
I don’t get Facebook’s appeal. I’ve tried, but it doesn’t do anything for me. Don’t get me started on Twitter.
I don’t get the appeal, either, anymore. If I could just visit one site, it probably would be Pinterest. I don’t count blogs as being in the annoying category of social media sites, though. I dumped Twitter long ago and have never regretted it. Now THAT was a huge time suck for absolutely no return.
Pinterest is dangerous. Want ideas for a raised garden bed? Bam. Four hours later you have a gift idea for Aunt Maple, a picture of a haircut to show your hairstylist, 453 ideas for craft projects, and are inspired to can your own jam.
Yeah, you’re right. Perhaps not, then. There’s only so much info I can take in during the day.
Facebook doesn’t even bother to nag me, that’s how insignificant I am to their great scheme of things. I applaud your decision to resist social media pressure – hear, hear!
Although my feelings are a little hurt that you haven’t stopped by my page to “like” my picture of a Boston Terrier inspiringly describing what I had for breakfast.
Aw, there, there, Peg. I’ll like that photo for you…
You mean there’s a pic of a Boston terrier out there that I haven’t “liked”?? Damn! I need some kind of alert function. I think that the FB pests will soon grow tired of me and move on to more fruitful endeavors.
I’m completely with you, Jean. As I sit here on my couch, sipping my tea and getting ready to take a nap. But first, I should probably put my plans in a status update. The thing I don’t like about FB the most is my friends who are constantly telling me just how ‘great’ their lives are, “ooh, I’m going to the dentist!” or “wow, look at me, I’m eating the best roast beef sandwich!” Makes me so jealous. My life is so empty.
Hah! Your life is far from empty.
I don’t know how you managed to take a nap without first posting about it. I didn’t think that was possible.
I like to live on the edge.
Clearly your life is not as dull as mine because I am on Facebook all of the time – it’s mental nicotine for me. I can’t stop! And I think you should go to Paris (nag, nag, nag).
I’d go to Paris today if I could, believe me. I don’t really find fault with folks who like Facebook. I know that it helps people keep in touch and some of the sharing is worth it!
What is really sad is I just posted photos of what I ate on my vacation!
;-0
I left Facebook after about six weeks – maybe three years ago? I can’t remember. Now WordPress is after me. If I JUST GIVE THEM ACCESS to my Facebook and Twitter accounts, not to mention my Gmail contacts list, they’ll make sure I get everyone of my friends’ blogs in my reader.
Are. You. Kidding. Me.
I can’t even get around to all the blogs I already love to read in a timely manner, let alone the ones I think I would like to read. Pffffttttt……
However, the facebook chatter did remind me of something hilarious I read this morning. Jaron Lanier, social media critic extraordinaire and author of “You Are Not a Gadget: A Manifesto”, put it this way. “[Facebook and its face recognition software] will just create a more paranoid society with a fakey-fakey social life – much like what happened in Communist countries, where people had a fake social life that the Stasi could see, and then their underground life.”
I’m going more underground all the time. And then there’s this – I had a mother who nagged me for years. I loved her dearly, but I sure as heck have no desire to replace the nagging!
I’m simply going to refuse to post regularly on FB. They can’t make me. And they can send me my miserable site stats all they want, but that won’t shame me into changing. You’re so right about the fakey-fakey social life. I bet there’s a large portion of subscribers making up or embellishing their crap.
As soon as I retire, I will become a ghost.
You and shoreacres are so right about the fake/ constant entries. Nagged to post anything even if mundane?
How odd. Isn’t that constant poking and prodding to update bullying or stalking?
Better sign up FB for some awareness and sensitivity sessions …during which they can post/tweet…
Disengaging. More fun outside
Sure feels like bullying to me, philosopher!
You are clearly not behaving correctly! Media is everything! I am compelled to respond to every tom dick and Carol about what is going on in my life and theirs. This is essential business if you want to be in the modern world. Get busy Jean, this stuff needs attending! How dare you ENJOY your life without telling me all all about it.
I am what social media experts write about when they describe all the things people should NOT do on these sites. I do wonder, though, are all these people really having that much fun or just having fun posting about it?
I pulled the plug on my facebook a few months ago. Oh my God, the wailing! And then my friends started…
I would stop immediately if I didn’t have to manage my work’s FB account. But you have to have a personal subscription to open a business page. I just hate the thing. The first thing I do when I retire is dump FB. The second thing I do is party.
How close are you to retiring? (I’m down to 14 weeks!)
OH, dear GAWD! 14 weeks! I’m too far away from it to start counting! Lucky you and congratulations!
Be careful…….nasty things could happen…….the Spanish Inquistion could show up
I actually worry about that, Jim!! I do! I mean, think about how difficult the FB folks could make my life if they wanted to. I hope I’m too insignificant for that.
well, there is FB police…..
I KNEW IT! Now I know I won’t sleep at night.
But, think about it…you HAVE a life! It just doesn’t happen to include Facebook postings…good for you.
And I believe there is a way to have them stop all the notifications…try going to the Settings.
P.S. The pictures are cute!
I’ll check out the settings today! I would have thought we subscribers are just at their mercy and have no choice but to endure their pleas.
Gotta have pics of Boston Terriers in posts – that’s how I roll.
You must be very popular and FB has noticed a drop in stats in your absence. I check in but rarely post. They don’t seem to care. (Adorable doggy pics).
I am so not popular! Facebook probably thinks I’m taking up valuable cyber space and wasting their time.
I have noticed your atmosphere on the Blogosphere, but I just assumed that you’ve been like me, busy. Sometimes real life takes priority over the virtual. I loathe Facebook.
“Atmosphere”? WTF? I’ve got to change my medication! I meant to say absence.
Well, actually… It’s been a particularly difficult, hectic and exhausting couple of months. My 88-year old mom is living with me now, which I’m very happy about. Lots of changes, lots of stuff to get used to. I’m still working on settling us in and getting the semblance of a routine back. Soon, I hope.
I’ve figured that your 2013 has been a year of upheaval or if you prefer, a period of adjustment. I hope the transitions have been going as well as possible.
Things are looking up, V. My mom is settling in and seems quite happy – we are having a lot of fun together, too!
I like to suppose that some future PhD student will one day write a thesis about life now based solely on what can be construed from Facebook status updates relating to breakfast consumptions habits. Maybe it will include maps showing the demographic spread of various food items. It would then go on to investigate the correlation between what was consumed and the urge to share – were certain food items more prestigious thus leading to boasting? Did people who ate healthy food feel the need to show off, or try for sympathy? Were people who favoured eggs more chatty in general than those who ate fish? Could they find any common breakfast foods not represented by status updates, and if so would that be due to the people who ate those not having access to the internet or to them being too boring even to mention on social media?
OK, I need a life. What direction is Dullsville from here?
Very interesting and, without a doubt, I can see that happening. I’m sure that we’ve all already been profiled according to what we post. No doubt a lot of that has already been published and used somewhere.
Dullsville is anywhere away from social media!
I’ve been off Facebook for a year now and haven’t missed it at all. Until I read this post, that is. You added mulch to your vegetable garden? When? What kind of mulch? And that ham and cheese sandwich — was it white or whole wheat?
I’m thinking of running for assistant deputy mayor of Dullsville. Will you vote for me?
Excellent post, SDS, especially this: “Ninety-nine percent of the time I’ve got nuthin’.” Not true, but still funny.
And yesterday at work, something awful happened with my work FB page that truly underscored the evil that is FB. The most frightening thing about an online presence is that there are people out there just waiting to tear you down or make your life miserable in some way. People are so much more careless than I am on FB, but I got burned good yesterday. Ugh.
It was nice long ago when we could live a dull life and no one would ever have to know
No kidding! I’m sure my silence on FB indicates to my friends that I’m rather dull and inactive, rather than not wanting to disclose. Sigh.
There have been some studies that have shown that Facebook causes depression due to seeing all the “fun” others are (apparently) having. It is true that going to Facebook depresses me, too, but that’s not the reason.
Above, you mentioned getting burned yesterday, and that’s another thing, although that’s not new. The internet has always had its a-holes. The anonymity and distance of the keyboard allows some to behave in ways they never would face-to-face. You see a similar effect in car drivers sometimes.
It would be nice to think that this is all just a stage we’re going through and that, someday, we’ll all grow into it. I am starting to see signs of it: people walking away from FB, articles about appropriate behavior rules for social media, the idea that watching movies on your cell phone is actually kind of lame, cautions about the trouble you can get into “out there”… It’s the blush of OMG, new toys! wearing off.
I’ve heard that about FB, too. It certainly has at times made me feel like I’m missing out on something. But it’s true for only a few of the people I follow, not the majority. I hope you’re right about growing into it and maturing. I have my doubts though. It seems to me that most of these social media sites encourage bad behavior.
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Nice.Nothing wrong with Dullsville. Especially since you can buy chocolate there
And a danged comfy life it appears to be, too! So there, FB, Pinterest, StumbledUpon, Twitter, and all ya other numbskulls!
Yeah!
Very good post! I have been thinking this for a while now. From a fellow Dullsville citizen
I finally posted something today on my FB page. I’m sure all the FB admins are celebrating.