Somewhere a choir of angels are doubled over laughing hysterically. In the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza, hangs a “restored” painting gone very wrong. No, it wasn’t destroyed by a graffiti artist. It’s not sporting a moustache, either. It’s just been… altered.
The painting is one by Elias Garcia Martinez called Ecce Homo (Behold the Man), which has hung in the church for more than 100 years. But after a century of exposure to light and air, paint had chipped off, the color had faded and the piece of art no longer pleased God.
And God said, “Religion has enough of the decaying, decrepit and flaky. This is an eyesore. Fix it!”
So, one of the faithful parishoners was listening that day. She heard His voice over the droning of the priest or the clanging of the organ. The woman, a dabbler in her 80s, thus imbued with the Holy Spirit (or the spirit of Thomas Kinkade), packed up her poster paint, chalk, crayons and felt tip pens and transformed the face of Homo:
Before and After
Some art critics might call her style, “primitive” as a way to discount her work. But I clearly see the influence of accomplished, well-known artists who gave the world Hello Kitty, Squidbillies, and Ernie of the Muppets.
Hello Kitty
Squidbillies
Cultural officials—oh, yes, THEY had to get involved—wet their pants over it. And then gathered at a hastily arranged cultural meeting to discuss their options:
1. Attempt to repair the paint-over. They’re interrogating the artist now (recall the Spanish Inquisition) to find out exactly which of the 16 Silly Scents Crayola Crayons were used: Dingy Dungeon or Alien Armpit?
2. Pretend that the patron saint of painters, Catherine of Bologna, inhabited the body of the elderly restorer, and leave the painting as is but charge admission.
3. Take it down, photograph it, put it on a t-shirt and sell millions of them through the web company, Threadless. I might do that for them:
Threadless Ecce Homo T-shirt (It’s my idea, don’t steal it!)
Whatever the Cultural officials decide to do, their little church hit the map this past week. Perhaps donations will pour in and the church will be able to afford an entire gallery of religious paintings or a Starbuck’s franchise in the rectory.
God works in mysterious ways.
The Artist who damaged the portrait was either drank or double sighted.Thanks for sharing.Jalal
I’d love to sit down with her and discuss art theory with her. I really would. Thanks for stopping by, Jalal!
At least no one can repaint or alter God’s rainbows.
Perhaps – although mankind is doing a good effort what with global climate change. Wonder how long we’ll continue to be able to see rainbows?
Smog can do wonders to transform things….think the fate of cities during the industrial revolution….sending kids out to the country was seriously done. But some progress has been made cleaning rivers and sites…so if enough care to try, there may be hope….now back to the art work – you’re a great art critic! Hilarious!
Actually I thought the “improvement” was a pretty good likeness of Sasquatch. Perhaps the church should change its doctrines that imbue more the aspirations of of this other ancient favorite of the people.
Yes, Larry. This church needs a sense of humor as well as a better handle on what resonates with society.
Pretty tragic and funny. Tragic for the painting, and great grist for a funny post with a twist of satire. I’ll buy the shirt!
Tragicomedy – it’s often a great combo!
I’m not an artist and I can’t rely on my creativity to make a living, but you’d think the church elders (or whatever you call the folks who make it their business to get into the church’s business) would have been checking in on the artist from time to time to assess the progress of the restoration? Couldn’t somebody have called a “time out” if they didn’t think it was going the way they expected?
Actually, the more it look at the new work, the more I like it…..
Yeah, how odd that she got to completion almost and no one stopped her! It’s so bizarre. She said that people saw her working on it but then at some point she realized she was over her head and so she quit. I think we have a new meme her, called “Best Intentions.”
I think we should let that lady design a new dollar bill. I’m tired of looking at George Washington.
Money is just funny anyway, so why not?
Hilarious story this week. Poor old dear.
I know! Poor, well-intentioned dear…
Ha ha
Yet another thing that, if we saw it in a movie, we’d say, “That could never happen.” Did they just hand this painting over to the first person who had some spare time on her hands?
Nope – she was tired of looking at it flaking and decaying and decided to lend a helping hand. I hear her art supplies have been confiscated.
ahh tragic to a great piece of art. I hope it can be restored. What were they thinking to let her at it? And that slogan is mine! lol
Well, she wasn’t asked – that’s what makes this story so amusing. I suppose after sitting in that church for a decade, she just couldn’t take it any more.
good lord I didn’t know she did it on her own. My goodness!
hey….when the Spirit moves ya, you gotta paint. Works for me. but maybe not so much for Grannie Zaragosa
Hansi
YES! The Spirit didn’t ask for talent; it asked for gumption.
Hey SDS, I want the t-shirt.
When are you selling them?
I’ll take two.
At least she had a go. That’s what I say. If they ever need anything restored again I hope she says ‘NO’ (I’m guessing they wouldn’t ask her again, right?) I did laugh when I saw it on the news but bless her, she tried her best.
Actually, she wasn’t even asked to repair it. She did it on her own gumption. That’s what makes this even funnier. Someone better be monitoring the Sistine Chapel.
Aww. She thought she was helping. Bless. She sounds like me. I would do something like that which makes me feel better that it was someone else for a change. Ha. I’m only joking, I know my limitations.
I know – I feel so sorry for her because she’s probably taking a lot of grief for it. And she’ll have to live with it for a long time. Welcome, Chris and thanks for stopping by!
No worries.
I thought that this story was actually super sweet. This elderly woman took maters into her own hands and tried to make a difference. Granted, as a painter she kinda sucks, but good for her for trying to help when she saw something that needed to done. Personally, I think that god is probably pretty pleased!
I thought it was sweet, too! I hope the poor woman doesn’t face too much backlash and shaming. She did have the best intentions along with the worst skills.
Definitely looks like Sasquatch meets ET.
She was inspired, that’s for sure!
I’d go for the Starbucks franchise myself. The heck with the picture!
Me, too! You can always get another painting of Jesus.
Great post. I think Ernie from Sesame Street bears the greatest likeness. Funny idea to compare them, and totally on target. Can damage like that be completely erased? It seems like it would take months of work to get back to some semblance of the original work.
Well, experts will be consulted and I suppose they might be able to wash away some layers. But I don’t hold out for much hope. She pretty much obliterated the painting. I still think the whole episode is hilarious.
I agree with rosie49, how could no one have seen this? Also, whoever okayed the “dabbler in her 80s” to do this restoration did not consider her qualifications to take on this project? WTF was that about? I place the blame on them. Hey, you get what you pay for and I suspect she did the job for free. I think her intentions were sincere, but her ability, as we can now see, was sorely lacking. The end result is tragically funny or funny tragedy or just a big bowl of snafu.
Apparently, people did see her working on it but did nothing. And she took it upon herself, without permission, to “restore” it. I think it’s quite comical. I saw a news clip of her – she’s very sincere about having just wanted to help.
Then there are even more dolts to blame for allowing this to happen. Let’s insert some Yiddish here, oy! My sympathies are still with the old Jesus-loving lady. To me, she’s an innocent and in a way I’m saddened that the fruit of her labor is being mocked, but then again, I’m not blind. You’d think someone would have said WTF! And I thought New Yorkers were expert at minding their own business.
She’s quite innocent, I agree, but I can’t help but mock her attempt! I just can’t. Besides, I mocked Thomas Kinkade plenty and he actually got paid for the garbage he produced.
That made page two of our newspaper here. I did get a laught out of it, several laughs actually.
I was delighted when I came across that story – best laugh I’ve had over the news in ages. It was a welcome relief to the horrified laughter I usually experience when reading the news.
So glad you decided to write about this. I had heard about this situation yesterday on CNN. Too funny!
Hugs,
Kathy
Yeah, it was too good to pass up! I love human-interest stories like these. And they’re such a nice respite from the usual political fodder.
i know i shouldn’t laugh, but i can’t help it. That is sooo funny =]
I feel the same way – I was delighted to come across that story. It was refreshingly comical!
See, this is what I love about old people. All the conditions, politics, deportment, etc. fly out the window. She probably knew it would take the church council 30 years to make a decision about it and she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life watching it crumble more!
I think her eldest son came here and did a church window in one of the hang-outs for God’s groupies.
Same here, souldipper! I find her actions endearing and hilarious. I’m sure she even talked to the church officials repeatedly and they kept putting her off. I’d love to see that church window!
If I’m in that church with my camera (it’s often for a funeral however), I’ll snap one for ya!!
Well, it looks like the church now has lots of cameras – I saw on the news that the painting HAS BECOME A TOURIST ATTRACTION! Hundreds of people are visiting now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
The more I look at that “restoration”, the more convinced I am that I know why she stopped working.Look at the difference in the eyes. In the original, Himself is looking heavenward. In Grannie’s work, He’s looking right at her, and I just know she started to get uncomfortable with that questioning gaze. You know – the one that says, “Lady! What are you DOING?”
Yeah, at some point, she started to feel some guilt. Those eyes are so penetrating. They tend to follow you throughout the church.
ha…. this even made LETTERMAN last night. funny!
She really is getting a lot of press on this. Wow. People were badly in need of a laugh, I guess!
Great post! I think it’s a sweet story. At least she tried her best to make a change, but unfortunately thinks did not go her way, as she did not have the skill.
It is a sweet story! And now she’s getting her 15 minutes of fame because it has become a tourist attraction! Oh it just makes me laugh all over again!
Oh my. This is for real, eh? I thought surely it was a joke. Wouldn’t you have loved to be a fly on the wall when that ol’ gal hitched up her drawers and climbed up to the painting to have her way with it?
I’d have handed her the paintbrushes…
Oh jeez. And after she did “art” she went to Olive Garden for “cuisine.”
Oh, yes. The bread is, after all, first rate.
I feel very alone in not thinking the altered version is funny. I think it is full of spirit and love and to me it’s an emotional portrait. Maybe she was touched on the shoulder by the hand of God and instructed to improve the picture. It is true that the improved picture is less naturalistic, but we should be able to get past that. I say, leave the picture in it’s new state.
You are a very sensitive soul, aren’t you? I need more art critics like you. I agree with you, too. Let’s leave the painting as is. After all, it has given that church far more attention than it would have were she had left the painting as is. No one cares about another story about a painting decaying.
Hey there, I have nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award since I love reading your blog.. In case you have already received this award, please consider it an honorary mention – a reminder of how much your time and effort means to strangers halfway across the world. And a thank you for being an inspiring and lovely blog for me
Please see the link http://wp.me/p2x7VR-9P if you would like to accept… thanks Aalif
You are so sweet and I’m so very touched. I’ll go check it out now! Thank you!
AHA: so I am not the only person who reads a serious news story and finds n funny. Thanks for reading my “It’s not Funny!,” post this week.
There’s a ton of humor in the news! You can’t make that stuff up. It happens all around us every day.