Loaded up a 2 and-a-half gallon spray container, walked across the street, and blasted the dandelions lined up like soldiers on the frontlines of a quiet but aggravating and desperate battle.
She used a flame-thrower and scorched the park across from her home. Sorry, picnickers. Spread a blanket over the dirt.
I’m mad at the city of Boise. They neglected their spraying regimen, or forgot to pay for chemicals, or foolishly assumed the malevolent marauders wouldn’t arrive this spring.
Oh, but they’re here. En masse. Every morning I walk to work I pass by them. I grit my teeth and walk past them, knowing that in a few days, they’ll blossom, then fade, and their devilish offspring will cross the road and create a new colony in my front yard.
ARRRGGGGH!
More ARRRRGGGGH!
Am I to face a new scourge every spring? Last spring and summer I waged a battle against the voles. My back yard became an ankle-sprain mess of eight-foot trenches and mounds of dirt created by me in an attempt to drive the varmints off my property. I succeeded.
Okay, I’m back. I just walked around the house knocking on all the real wood I could find. Realizing that it’s always going to be premature to believe my yard is free of voles leaves me with tremendous unease when spring arrives.
But back to the dandelions. When I lived in Minnesota, I’d pass by fields and yards full of dandelions and chirp, “Ooh, how pretty!” You can throw compliments to Mother Nature like that around when you live in an apartment. Now I have a house with a front and back yard. And dandelions are no longer pretty. Their jaggedy leaves might just as well be the chainsaw carried by Leatherface.
My mother likes to tell me that dandelion salad is delicious. I cannot bring myself to dig up dandelions, strip off the leaves and bring them into my home. I’d rather invite Ed Gein to dine with me.
When my sister was on vacation in Texas for two weeks, I spent more time in her front yard than I did in my own. Dandelions had made a home among the tulips and daffodils there. I was convinced that they were on the march to take root in my lovely yard. Before my sister left, she instructed me to place mothballs in the tulips to keep the rabbits at bay. Dandelion destruction took precedence over that silly task. By the end of a week, I had dug up most of her front lawn and rabbits had decimated her tulips. They’ll be doing a vast amount of replanting this spring, but, hey, a fresh start is invigorating!
I’ve walked past homes in this neighborhood whose front lawns are overrun by weeds, all manner of weeds, including dandelions. And I wonder how much medication I’d require to fully tranquilize my hatred of these intruders and allow me to pass by them each morning unaware or blissfully unmindful.
There is a principle of graphic design, called similarity, which means that like things are perceived as the same. When you place a dissimilar thing among them, you get contrast. And the eye notices the thing that is different. So is a yard full of dandelions the answer?
Not for me. I’m off to get the spray and a shovel.
Go on over and visit Follow the Piper. She tries to make people feel more kindly toward dandelions. I praise her broad-mindedness and charity.
And here’s a recipe for dandelion salad. The author tells us to pick the leaves while they’re young and tender. Please don’t try to soften me up by telling me that dandelions can be tender.
How about some dandelion wine? Drink enough of it and neither dandelions nor voles nor a herd of bison hanging out in your front lawn will stress you out.
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They are evil- and they leave sticky, milky reside on your hands. You know what else is evil- tansy- it’s what they call an aggressive weed, or whatever. Nasty stuff.
I’m going to Google “tansy” so that I can be on the look out for those. Ugh.
There’s something else dandelions are good for – soothing the spirits and temperament of squirrels who are drunk on fermented mesquite beans. Honest. You can read about that here if you think you could stand it. If not, that’s perfectly fine. I’ll just send a double dose of soothing thoughts your way while I go out and pet some dandelions.
By the way – did you realize there’s a Texas dandelion? It’s having a spendiferous year, too!
I read that post before and it was absolutely one of the best ever. What a story! And those are gorgeous dandelions in the photo! If I had a large field – more acres, I’d let the dandelions grow.
I was considering surrender and learning how to make dandelion wine.
Me, too!
You are a riot, armed with a funny dark arsenal that I thoroughly enjoy :0
Re:the dandelions, I surrendered years ago.
You surrendered?! Wow. I just am not there, yet. As long as I can bend over, I will dig them up. Thank you, elena!
I once thought about enlisting some youngster in the neighborhood at a “per head” price for dandelions (as I am sort of anti-spray). Never followed up. Neighbors a few doors down often have a feast of them in the front yard. Now that we have almost no lawn left, they’re not so much a problem. — Now, talk to me about comfrey and I’ll tell you horror stories.
I’m anti-spray, too unless it’s an organic type. My brother-in-law is a big believer in natural solutions to pest problems. I prefer that. But I imagine the city doesn’t have enough workers to go around and dig up the beasts. So comfrey is a menace, eh?
“When my sister was on vacation in Texas for two weeks, I spent more time in her front yard than I did in my own.”
Yes, the record setting warm “winter” here this year brought in all the weed family in droves. But there was a silver lining. The Bluebonnets were also in full bloom unlike anything I have seen in some years. I guess you have to take the bad with the good, or so they say.
So, true. I remember those spring days in Texas and the beautiful fields of bluebonnets everywhere. Yin and Yang, wise Larry.
The wild fires and wet winter / spring rains have created simply beautiful bluebonnets this year. Nature’s already recovering ( although the ground is already cracking again)
Love that dandelion battle in the first few lines – yeah they are pretty -somewhere else, please….OK I jerk them up and put the flowers in a vase inside so they didn’t struggle for nothing…I know, dumb
I wouldn’t have the patience or desire to make a bouquet of them! But you are a kindhearted soul, for sure. I’ve seen some photos of the bluebonnets and they are gorgeous!
the problem with dandelion bouquets is that they last about 5 min. then they look limp and pathetic…it’s all a plot to guilt trip no doubt (plant evolution to insure species survival, no doubt).
Yes, they’ll survive along with the cockroaches!
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I will always be a dandelion.
Gorgeous song, beautiful lady! I think I’m turning away from my abject hatred of the weed, thanks to you!
Be the dandelion, Jean. Be the dandelion.
Repeat often, after a large glass of dandelion wine.
An anti dandylion rant. Well I suppose I understand. I can’t stand cats. Or love my cat blogs. Dandylions don’t grow as rampant in south Florida. Maybe because there are elevendy billion other type of weeds that compete for territory ! And if you try to pick or dig them out there arise elevendy billion red fire ants that will leave your arm all swolt up with sores for elevendy billion weeks! Two suggestions: If you like spinach or collard greens, cook em up with a touch of garlic, sugar and olive oil. Or put up a “pick your own” farm – $2 in the yard and let the salad jerks do the work for you.
Oh, my – I lived in Texas for many years, so I know about the fire ants. OUCH. Thankfully, we don’t have them here. I love your recipe idea, Carl! Sounds delicious. And, yes, I think you’re on to something about charging the vegans and earthy types for harvesting the weed. I’ve also thought about charging people who want earthworms. I’ve got millions – no elevendy billions of them in my yard!
Spring is in full blast in So. California, hard to keep up with her.
Hansi
Oh, yeah – where you are I imagine stuff is growing like crazy!
Wow,dandylion hatred. Nay Bigotry! Well, they do taste good, and my dad once made wine from them. And there is a very satisfying thrill that goes up your spine when you pull one out by the whole root! I’ve become more passive with them, and don’t expect to suffer from them at all in New Mexico. I’m quite happy about that.
I wonder what noxious weed New Mexico has? Dandelion wine sounds quite tasty, really. And you’re right about the pulling them up thing. Call me crazy, but I actually like to weed my garden!
I wish dandelions would grow in my yard. Instead I have dirt, dirt and more dirt. Even if I had grass it would still be covered in dirt because I’m surrounded by dirt. At least dandelions covered in dirt would be pretty and they would eventually cover the yard in yellow and green. Instead I just get dirt and the occasional tumbleweed.
Wow. That’s a lot of dirt! You can’t grow anything that will cover it up?
Good thing you brought your shovel. If you don’t get the whole root out, the plant will return as if nothing happened. I just dug up several dandelion roots from my vegetable beds, and the roots can go down deeeeeeep.
I’ve eaten dandelion greens, dandelion stems, and I’ve sipped dandelion root coffee, but I’ve never had dandelion wine. Do wine and spirit stores sell it? The wine shops in my area sell several varieties of fruit wine, but I haven’t seen dandelion wine yet.
I am going to look for some dandelion wine at our local store here. I’d be amazed to find it. And I am going to try putting some leaves in a salad. Heck, I love kale; dandelion leaves can’t be that bad!
If you can get good soil, they usually go away on their own. They love poor soil and choke out grass in it. Otherwise, they poke out in spring and are gone by midsummer.
My aunt always made her own dandelion tea (studies are showing it can kill certain cancerous cells btw) but she was a teetotaler so I never got to taste dandelion wine either.
If you do decide to eat dandelion salad, only pick leaves on plants that haven’t flowered since they are less bitter that way.
Good tips! Thank you so much. And, frankly, I do want to try making dandelion salad. So, I’ll be out there today doing some harvesting. Perhaps I’ve been too hasty with my dislike of the beasts!
Hi,
I didn’t know you could even eat these terrible weeds or make wine from them, if it was a popular thing to do you would think they would be wiped out by now. We also have this pest in Australia as well, and I am another one that likes to spray them. We still get them every year regardless, the birds carry the seeds and just seem to love dropping them in my backyard.
Yeah, it’s really the birds fault mostly. That just gave me another enemy to do battle with.
Ugh, I think my Gram used to eat those…along with fiddleheads. My daughter is so funny, she just saw a couple on our lawn last week and she was thrilled. “Mommy! My pretty flowers are here!” Wish I could see them in the same light.
No kidding – how things change, eh? The thing is, I love, adore yellow flowers! My yard is full of legit ones. But I can’t abide the dandelions.
I think knowing you have a flame thrower should get their attention.
Yes. I was hoping all I had to do was show it. I’m not crazy about fire. However, the fire station is two doors down, so it might not have been too great a scorch.
Hmmm, tender shoots for dandelion salad…is that sort of like vegan version of veal scalopini?
I nearly snotted all over my computer screen at this line:”By the end of a week, I had dug up most of her front lawn and rabbits had decimated her tulips.” I got a great visual from that.
Fortunately, I don’t think my sister is holding a grudge. I did, after all, weed most of her yard, take her trash out, and walk and feed her dog for 2 weeks!
You’re hired!
Yowsers, Jean…you could be making a small fortune with these little tufts of flora. Even the white juices from the stem are medicinal.
Dare I? http://www.gardensablaze.com/HerbDandelionMed.htm
I know I risk your wrath, but I also know there are times that I’m a weed. We have to stick up for one another.
You’re a good weed, though! And now I’m very tempted to make Dandelion scrambled eggs! Thank you. My mind has been opened a crack.
When I was a kid, I used to love blowing on dandelions and watching the seeds fly away in the wind. Now when I get them in my yard, I feel like it’s some sort of dandelion karma.
And I’ll leave you with something else I loved as a child: http://youtu.be/GzD6L8DmE-c?t=4m17s
Oh, the lost innocence of youth! I used to love doing the same thing. And, yes, The Wizard of OZ is still a favorite of mine!
“I never met a weed that didn’t like me”
“A weed in need is a weed indeed.”
“A weed, a weed, my kingdom for a weed”
“When weeds are outlawed, only outlaws will have weeds’”
“You can’t tell a weed by it’s ground cover.”
…. just a few from my new book….”Weeds of Wisdom”
You are widdy and weedy, my friend.
Until reading your post, I have not put any thought into dandelions for over 40 years, but I now recall my dad digging patches of dandelion weeds out of our lawn with his pen knife while cursing at them vigorously. I think you and he would get along well. Do you remember this song that the Rolling Stones made back in 1967 called “Dandelion”? It was during their flower power heyday when a lot of “herbal essence” was being consumed by the acre. That help explains the stupidity of the lyrics …
That song was truly awful. It’s a piece of forgotten Rolling Stones history that I’d like to forget. But not now, thanks to you, LA. I bet the whole lot of them wishes that they’d never done it!
of course… there is also
http://www.jilliannickell.com/portfolio/dandylion.jpg
He’d be a lot harder to pull out of my garden…
LOL! I have to say I dont share the hatred for these intruders as you do but then again I live in an apartment so I guess I am at the time in my life where I can still enjoy their beauty rather than hate their unwelcome stay in my home.
That’s exactly, right – apartment living is so carefree. I remember it well.
Fun read, thanks.
I suppose nature will have its way. I have never seen a wild meadow that sported more than a fair share of dandelion. High grasses probably inhibit the dispersion of their seeds and the competition for sunlight does the rest. If, however, we insist on having immaculately trimmed ‘English’ lawns we end up spraying poison on anything that is not grass and hence termed “weed”. Humans are a strange species.
Interesting bit about the high grasses warding off the dandelion. Unfortunately, I killed off the grass in my yard as soon as I moved in and replaced it with thyme and veronica. This year some of the ground cover died, leaving way for the weeds to move in. But I’ve got 64 ground cover plants coming soon and will fill up the bare spots with them. I see a dandelion-free future for me! Perhaps.
It may be that Idaho has backed down from using weed killer, but at least you can still buy the stuff. Where I live, they now sell only some mild, harmless liquid that’s intended to reason with the weeds. Meanwhile, the dandelions grow bigger and more numerous every year. I used to try pulling them out, but there are fields of them within a half-mile of here. The battle has been lost, I’m afraid. But I share your misery, and I enjoyed this post.
Ah, Charles. I, too live very near a field of dandelions and think my efforts are wasted. But, I’m too much of an obsessed gardener to not try!
Ah, dandelions are global pests! I give up on anyone trying to keep them down around here. I have a dog so no way am I eating anything she could have pooped on. Used to use an ‘asparagus fork’ in FL to cut them out deep underground, but here I use a weed n feed that is brilliant.
I’ll have to check out that tool you mention. And, thanks for the reminder about the dog issue – fortunately, I only get dandelions in the front yard where they can’t get to. But I’d thoroughly wash everything I’d pull out of the ground. Except a worm.
I only eat dandelion leaves on sandwiches from the Wolfgang Puck restaurant, but my grandfather has been known to go out and pick them for his salads. I do like blowing the seeds of them, though. Yes, even into my own yard. I don’t really do much other than mow the grass and water the flowers in the yard anyway.
Next year, I’ll hold back my disdain for them and pick the leaves before they flower, make a nice salad or two, and then go back out and finish the job on them.
I say! Steady on there my dear….
I’m okay, Dave. I take frequent beverage breaks…
If it weren’t for their jaggedy leaves, we’d have no green in our vast tundra of a lawn, so I let them be and turn a blind eye. There’s no possible way to get rid of them. I consider it a personal triumph if I can keep the poison ivy from creeping into my flower beds. It’s all about your expectations – just lower yours and it will all be good!
Yikes! Poison ivy! Well, at least I don’t have that to deal with. I think the tide is turning on the dandelions, though. I noticed that the city sprayed the ones that were poking out of the stone wall across the street. Yay!
In the town next to mine, they have an annual dandelion festival. I wish they would come and pluck them out of my yard, but no such luck.
That’s the least they could do, huh?