Forget the New Year’s resolutions. I’m still working on those. I figure I’ll start off the year right by not doing things, instead of setting goals. Goals are for people with a lot of time on their hands.
1. I Will Never Again Wash Wool In My Washing Machine
People complain about the smell of a wet dog. Experience the odor of wet wool—throughout your home. I put some wool through a washing cycle the other day in an attempt to make felt. (I’ve got to get therapy for this new hobby.) Unfortunately, I threw some of my clothes in with the wool. Instead of re-washing the clothes, I hung them on a drying rack in my breakfast room. My dog, Sally, tried to herd the drying rack. Stella, my other dog attacked it. She’s still in there, growling over a pair of my pajamas she wrestled to the floor.
2. I Will Never Again Confront Drunken Youth In My Backyard
If someone is drunk and stupid enough to mistake my backdoor for his, he’s drunk and stupid enough to haul off and bean me. If I can take the time to grab the golf club sitting next to my bed, I can take the time to dial 911.
3. I Will Never Start A Home Project Before Thoroughly Analyzing The Project, Measuring At Least 5 Times, And Seeking Professional Advice.
I purchased some blinds yesterday for my very large living room window. It looks like I’ll have to remove the entire window and replace the casing so that I can hang these blinds. I can’t return the blinds, because I had them cut to size. I’m wondering if I can hot glue the blinds to the window frame.
4. I Will Never Get On a Horse Again
Just because I knew how to ride a horse 40 years ago, doesn’t mean I can get on one now and gallop away into the sunset. The person who said, “If you fall off a horse, you have to get right back on,” obviously doesn’t have hundreds of dollars worth of veneers.
5. I Will Not Take Up Hot Yoga.
I don’t even know what it is, but I’m not combining heat with uncomfortable body positions unless it involves getting myself into a lounge chair on a hot summer day while holding a cold beer.
6. I Won’t Read a Single News Item About Kim Kardashian
She is dead to me. She occupied far too much of our national awareness in 2011, all of the attention utterly undeserved. A woman whose only claim to fame is rampant celebrity seeking behavior shouldn’t be allowed one pixel of recognition. Hilary Clinton got far less air time and she’s actually doing things other than exposing flesh and her stupidity.
7. Once I Lose The Rest of My Weight, I’m Never Putting It Back On
Dieting is torture, especially after a year of eating like a person with a tapeworm. Having to count calories is too much counting and too much pressure. I love fractions, but figuring out the number of calories in 1/24th of a Snickers bar is too much trouble. I also don’t ever again want to strap a device on my arm that counts footsteps, either. Unless someone can invent a device that counts the calories burned by feeling irritated, frustrated, aggravated, annoyed and enraged, the little credit I get for walking isn’t worth it.
8. I Will Not Worry About How Many Followers I Have on Twitter or Likes I Have on Facebook
Without a doubt, I’ve been a grave disappointment to my Twitter followers and my Facebook fans. When they begin doing their annual year-end cleanup of followees my page is the first they’ll weed out. I’m the social media equivalent of rice cakes. When I do appear on these social media sites, it’s infrequent. My life is not a wellspring of entertainment and wit. None of the people who follow me will probably ever say, “Guess what I read on Jean’s Facebook today?” None of them will say, “You’ve got to follow Jean on Twitter. She’s better than Colbert.” But I’ve got to stop feeling like I owe these people a good time. They’ve got real friends and YouTube for that.
9. I Won’t Share Any of My Conspiracy Theories
No one has paid the slightest bit of attention to my “The Chinese are trying to kill us with their exports” theory, so I give up. Not one person got as enraged as I did when we found melamine in our pet food. This morning when I experienced the fiasco with the window shades? They were made in China. One of them worked fine; when I pulled the cords on the other one, the shades went up and down in a cattywampus fashion. The amount of frustration I suffered over that probably cost me a few years of quality living. Just Google “Things Made in China That Almost Killed Me” and maybe then you’ll believe me.
10. I’m Not Going to Volunteer to Help NASA Find Alien Life on the Moon
Don’t we pay taxes for NASA to do this? Now they want volunteers? What’s next? The Department of Energy asking for volunteers to find natural gas in their own back yards? The CDC asking for volunteers to send in samples of bacteria found on keyboards in the office so that we can ward off the next flu pandemic? People ought to be paid if they’re going to spend their valuable time peering at photographs searching for evidence of alien life. Besides, what’s in it for me? Will NASA name any of the aliens I discover after me? Will I get first dibs on the aliens’ story?
11. You will never cease to make Tawn smile.
Oh, I hope not! That’s an endeavor worth working at, for sure.
And this is my first time reading this blog: I’ll admit I smiled the whole way through!
hf dfdis kjfpsdoi
Thats like you stole my words Tawn … loved this page here ! Thanks
I concur totally, and you have my eternal respect and gratitude for #6.
Excellent. Then we have a quorum. I predict that in a year, she’ll be history. And, sadly, replaced by someone just as vapid.
yes all day on #6. I never got the hoopla.
Hi,
That was awesome, I certainly had a good laugh.
I knew I was in for a good read after I read “I will never again wash wool in my washing machine.” I actually laughed out loud, I loved it, and the rest just got better.
10 out of 10 for the post.
P.S.
I just noticed your painting of the goat and the girl that I call “Learn on Me” in you header, it looks great.
Thank you, mags! I’ll be living with the wool smell for a few more washings I guess. That’s as close to a sheep farm as I ever want to get.
Wow, congrats on being Freshly Pressed, Good One.
Thank you, mags!
Thank you for cheering me up!
Now that I know you a little bit better, I’m shocked you spent any time on Kim K. I’m interested in the veneers. And since we are talking about me, my conspiracy theory, Operation Trojan Drone.
Fortunately, I only spent the seconds it took to read the short blurb about her on Google news. Now, when I see her name, I’ll quickly move on. What’s Operation Trojan Drone??
Well, now that you have been Freshly Pressed, I’m sorry I even brought it up.
Thank you for adding cattywampus to my 300 word vocabulary Wilma F. Buckley.
It’s such a handy word. It can be a description for a thing or a state of mind. I definitely feel cattywampus today.
I, too, cannot wait for the opportunity to use cattywampus in a sentence. Great post. Congrats on Freshly Pressed!
Sounds like 2012 is off to a good start for you, but remember: sometimes NOT doing something is harder than doing something.
So, so, true, Hansi! I better get to my do something list!
As usual, you put a smile on my face!
That’s high praise and I consider my job well done, then!
I doubly confer with #6. You might want to reconsider #9. But nobody with any sense will even consider acting upon #8.
Yes, sigh. I predict that by February, I’ll feel the need to share a conspiracy theory with the world. I’m going to keep plenty of wine on hand when the urge comes to me.
Shiraz or Chablis?
Oh, Snoring Dog, if only I knew you were planning this post, I would have sent you to mine first, to read that bit about how the subconscious mind doesn’t recognize a negative statement and converts them all to positives. Hence, “once I lose my weight, I’m not putting it back on again” becomes “once I lose my weight, I am putting it back on again.
Your first statement cracked me up. I’m going to remember your wool story for a long time.
I like the way you put that, Margaret- I’d read things in books in the past about the subconcious not differentiating between good and bad – it only identifies the object. But saying it doesn’t reckognize a negative statement – that’s kind of a positive way of looking at it. The mind wants you to only input positive things. Like a baby. Or a Puppy
Funny! Okay, Margaret, I’m heading over to read your enlightening post. Now I have to worry about my subconscious mind trying to undermine my 10 won’t-do’s. Darn!
I am not too good at following posts on FB or tweets on twitter – so you will find me doubly grateful for seeing your posts in my inbox! Please keep up the lovely art, dog stories and woolgathering!
You bet, ReaderW! This is therapy for me and it gets me through some tough times. Plus, the added benefit is bringing some small measure of joy to others. Thank you for being here!
I like this list. But I was a little surprised about #1. You got such a great post from that one, I thought you were on to something. But you’re the boss of your list
.
Oh, I thought I was, too. Today, I went to an art coop and saw the loveliest purses made of felt wool. Now, I’m reconsidering #1. I’m worried about that a bit. I’m sure there’s some city code about having a home in town that smells of sheep.
I am fairly sure you can remedy the over-sized window blinds with your glue gun. Maybe add some trusty duct tape. You’re in business!
If the glue fails in the summer time heat, duct tape is my go-to adhesive. You bet.
I remember when you took off after that drunk! Glad you re-thought your defense!
Also, SDS, I emailed anyone who might even think of buying me a Christmas prezzie and told them I would not enable any more imported junk polluting our continent. I told them if they HAD to give me a gift, I would only accept something they already own. In return, they’d receive something of mine! Otherwise, it’s actions that demonstrate love… See? You did have influence.
Finally, I have to confess that I do not do the numbers thing. I only have FB friends because I know them or have been following them in some way (eg: blogging). Twitter is something I set up, but other than blog posts, I hardly add or read any of it.
I check my blog numbers occasionally, but more to see where the readers are “coming from” and what they are reading. I have a couple of very old blogs that gets all kinds of hits still. I cannot figure out why.
Look forward to sharing 2012 with you, SDS!
Look forward to sharing the new year with you, too SD! You have much to teach me and I’m a more than willing student. I love your gift idea – it’s so sensible – and it could lead to such treasured gifts!
Awww — the wool-in-the-washing-machine seemed like such a good idea in your other post.
I’m with you on #4 (allergic to horses, so it’s kind of a no-brainer), #5, #6, #7, and #8.
Yes, Laura. It’s all in the execution! Who’d have thought that an old wool sweater could still smell as though it just got sheared off it’s owner sheep?
Alas, I’ve got a million great ideas in my head that ought not ever to see the light of day.
I think it was Santayana that said “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”. You’ve given some marvelous examples here Jean that drive home this expression.
P.S. Good luck with keeping the weight off.
Writing it all down is a good start to not repeating it, eh?
Thank you for the encouragement. When I lose the last weight, I will let the world know!
Hey SDS… I have blatantly cut and paste your Nah-Uh No-Way News Years Resolutions and made them mine – comedy gold with substance.
You are more than welcome to them, dear. I’m on my way to making this world a better place – one reader at a time!
Great Not-To-Do list. I now think I’ll have to make my own…some of which I will steal from you. Thanks for starting my day with a smile!
Oh, please do! The more the merrier. Safety in numbers. Four’s a party. And all those other sayings…
Oh, thank you for the laughs today!(aside from the drunk at the door story, sounds scary, I must have missed that one!) I love your idea for ‘hot yoga’. Sign me up! And why did I have the strongest reaction to number 6?
I am so bad at twitter and facebook. I’ve tried and I just can’t tweet. I am terrible at it. I don’t even have a facebook page for my blog, so that is probably part of the problem. I just don’t have the energy to be even try to be witty most days anymore….sigh.
Your reaction to #6 is natural considering the wise woman you are. I’m glad that I can count you in on that one.
You may not think you’ve achieved wittiness most days, but your readers – and this one, definitely – would disagree heartily. You don’t even have to try. You just are!
Thank god for number 2.
The Chinese are trying to kill us with Kim Kardashian
She is a stealth celebrity. Even James Bond couldn’t survive her.
About the wool, at least you were on the right track. When I was a teenager, I got an untanned deer skin with the fur. (Can you see where this is going?) It was stiff and smelled pretty bad. As I was on laundry duty at the forestry camp (part of a very long story to be told another time) I had noticed that stiff, foul-smelling clothes came out of the industrial sized washer soft & fresh. So, I tried throwing the deer pelt in for a wash. I don’t know how much a deer sheds when they’re alive but that pelt was the gift that keeps on giving. The whole camp smelled like a musty deer for a month and the fur kept showing up for almost as long. Maybe, I should have read a book on tanning hides. Or, I could have given it to my parents. They were always threatening to tan my hide.
You weren’t here to advise me. At least we both had the sense to remove the animal first.
Great fun. (sorry about the horse…they aren’t real bright sometimes) And uh, watch the dog and cat treats made outside the US…seriously, ask your vet…animals are being poisoned – so much for quality control / concern / compassion from you know where…(but they will probably find the aliens first). Have a great 2012
Yeah, I’m so done with pet food from China. They are trying to get at us through our pets.
#4. HILARIOUS. This is very true. I did a couple of exercises that I haven’t done since my volleyball days and almost passed out. In my mind I had it in the bag, but my body screamed exactly what you wrote: Just because I could do it effortlessly back then, doesn’t mean I can do it now LOL loved the post!!
Thank you, Lakia and thrilled you stopped by. My dad’s most favorite saying is “Exercise kills.” Words to live by.
Gosh I so sympathize about the blinds! I can relate. Measure, measure, then wait a month, think, and measure again. I also ignore facebook most of the time and twitter too, mostly because with dial-up it just takes forever to do anything, and half the stuff doesn’t work at all. I don’t do farmland or whatever game that is. lol…I do like your idea about listing things NOT to Do. lol..And if all your e-mail subscriptions and comments are real, which obviously they are, then you are a media hit, much more so than me. Way more than me most any day. I too try very very hard not to obsess. Who loves ya baby? Well who cares? We are off to the races!
GoGoGO, you Freshly Pressed Fool!
I’m frightened, Brian!
Maybe you can tell my coworker not to give a damn about the Kardashians because my interventions have been unsuccessful so far.
That’s certainly within the responsibilities of HR to deal with. I think the punishment is a public shaming and 6,000 hours of their show.
Love your twist on New Year’s resolutions. I salute you for boycotting stupid celebrities. What do these people do that demands so much of our time and attention anyway?
I’ve yet to figure it out. I accidentally noticed today some blurb on Google about Kim’s new bangs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She’s vapor, she’s nothing!
“She’s vapour, she’s nothing!” Is the most concise and precise statement about modern celebrity I’ve ever read. Thanks for this SDS!
Yeah, that kind of cracked me up a little, too. I just love saying and writing “vapor.” I like seeing it in the English spelling even more!
OK, I just happened to check Freshly Pressed and lo’ and behold–there you are!
A big congrats to you! Well deserved! What a fantastic way to kick off the New Year!
Oh, boy, imagine my surprise when I launched my email today!
Haha love this! Good fresh way to look at the year to come!
As a horse owner I actually found that pretty comical just because I’ve seen so many people try to do the same thing….it’s not exactly the same as riding a bike now is it? lol
Thanks for a light-hearted outlook on things. We all need to stop taking things so seriously sometimes!
You’re a horse owner – an admirable person who clearly hasn’t the fear that I do of damaging the dental work. (I haven’t ridden either of my bikes for almost two years.)
Love #5:) Congrats on being FP!
Thank you!
This is way too funny, love it! (and I appreciate the fact that they are human enough that I can join you in not doing these thing in 2012…or ever)
It’s possible that I and my readers could take the Chinese and Kim Kardashian down this year.
I won’t forget my cell phone in the washer…
Hope not! Can you make felt from cell phones?
First I want to thank you for the laughs I some parts are just so funny (except for the drunk part, if that would happen to me I would directly call the police)
also I didn’t really knew about Kim Kardashian a few months ago until someone told me about her. I totally agree with you about #6
The person that told you about Kim K. should be sent far away. To a Gulag if there is one.
That’s a good call on the hot yoga thing, I literally thought I was dying when I did it. I’m also with you on the Kardashian boycott…maybe if we get a few million other people in on that, their TV shows will be canceled.
See, I believe that, too! All it takes is some kind of Occupy TV celebrity movement or something – we have the power! Not her bank account, granted, but let’s organize!
Very funny! Love you take on the concept of New Year’s resolutions, and congrats on FPed. I see you around–commenting on a lot of the same blogs I read.
Kathy
It’s easier sometimes to think of things you won’t do again. They somehow stick in your head, eh?
Haha, I like this “Anti-Resolution” thing you got going here. Refreshing.
http://www.saracardoza.wordpress.com
With 365 days in a year, I’ve got plenty of time to figure out what my Resolutions will be. First things first, though!
#5 & #6 were the best! Here’s to more of what we want, less of what we don’t want in 2012.
Right on, rheabette! Looks to me like this little insignificant blog might actually be able to take down Kim K. BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh Happy Day, you got Freshly Pressed, buddy! What a great way to start the new yeah, eh? Congrats!
Yowza, yeah!
Half way through Hot Yoga this morning I was wondering “What in the HECK am I doing?” We just recently hung a room full of blinds only to find out the store would have come out, measured and hung them for a fee far lower than the frustration we encountered. The Kardashians, in the words of SNL, are all “equally untalented” (you sort of have to hear that in their nasally voices). The weight, I might have lost in Hot Yoga, was put right back on with a Starbucks bagel and yes extra cream cheese. FB still freaks me out a bit due to “not really knowing” most of those people on my friend list. And last, but not least, I’m sorry about the horse thing. Although getting on can be a bit daunting, there is nothing more freeing than the ride. Happy New Year! Loved your post!
Love that you stopped by and commented. Clearly you and I have much in common, except that you took the Hot Yoga thing a lot further than I did. Brave girl!
I wish you a ninety percent success rate. Someone must be there to person the rampart against the advance of the evil pet food mongering empire. I can’t imagine anyone more qualified. K be damned. Onward to 2012.
Thank you. I’m still wondering what the 10% hold back is all about. You into hot Yoga?
Amen to ignoring the Kardashians!
Great post! Good luck at all of these things especially ignoring Kim Kardashian she is everywhere it is so hard to get away!
We just have to stop clicking on her name. It’s that easy. I think.
lol.. great list, i think i will follow you and make a list of my own!!
.. thanks for sharing
Thank you for stopping over and commenting!
The twitter one made me laugh, since I just started a twitter account to promote my blog.
I like your goals!
Good luck with Twitter! I’m sure you’ll be a far better success at it than I am.
This is kind of brilliant. I might need to make me one of these. Great idea, and great never-will-I-ever list.
Go for it! Just be certain to include #6.
What a great blog to read for my first blogging experience! Gotta love an interesting mind with a good sense of humor !!!!! Just made a comment to hubby this am about how in the hell did the Kardashians ever get so popular…..really sad to know so many people in the world are that bored….!!!
Your first blogging experience and you stopped here?! Wow. How cool is that?!! Thank you. Enjoy the wild ride it can be!
This is a great blog, I loved the reverse resolution thing!
Thank you and glad you stopped by!
I’m glad to hear you accomplished a lot this past year; I think we all need positive goals to set for the next year and on as well. As long as you got a list together then you’re already on the right track.Hope you had a great new year’s day and I look forward to reading more:))
jonwatersauthor.wordpress.com
Thank you, wartica. I suppose one can nonaccomplish things, eh?
You are so right about the new year’s resolutions, when most people make them they actually may work on the resolution one or two days and then that’s it. I stopped making them, and just did what had to be done in order for me to be satisfied with the results. Happy New Year’s
That’s a good policy to have. For all those people who complain that the gym is too crowded after New Year’s Day, I tell them to wait a week – it will get very quiet and uncrowded.
Freshly pressed!!! Yay, you! I can say in all honesty that I am not a disappointed Twitter follower, seeing as how I check it about once every four or five months. I can also honestly say that I am not a disppointed SDS follower, seeing as how it’s always a great read. Congratulations on the FP!
Thank you, Hippie – It’s a bit overwhelming, but how nice to be chosen!
This seems to be a much better approach to the new year than traditional resolutions. I may have to adopt #3 myself. Being a crafty person (or attempting to be) means I often find myself halfway through a project that, had I really thought about it, I never would have began in the first place. There is also usually glue everywhere. Lots of glue.
Good luck with your new year!
And burnt fingers, too, right? Love the glue gun, hate the blisters. Good luck to you, too!
I agree with #6 and #8! Not so sire about #9 though… :p
I hate new years resolutions. I don’t make them. I love this post. Hear hear!
Stay true to yourself, girl. All these resolutions just clutter up the airspace!
LOL – #6 and #8! Just added them to my personal list. Awesome post. Keep up the good work.
Ed
Thank you! Everyone is welcome to any or all of them. They will serve me well this year.
I LOVE your blog! First time I’ve read it and it’s soooo funny and sooo true too. If you are the equivalent of rice cakes, I hate to think where I stand in the social media chain. But I just keep plodding along admiring folks like you.
Oh, thank you, sweet Dor! How nice. But I am the equivalent of rice cakes – plain rice cakes.
I wanna hear more about the drunk teenager fiasco…
Oh, that was a blog post that I wrote in September or October. I think it was titled, “Drunk and Stupid is No Way to Go Through Life.”
I’ll have to check it out then!
Who is this Kim Kardashian person anyway? I’m forced to stare at her while waiting in line at the check out counter everywhere I go.
…there’s another point in favour of online shopping!
Don’t ask the question! Don’t! That way you’ll be spared the torture the rest of us have been through!
Oh, I am a big Twitter failure too, although I wanted to succeed so badly! The only thing my Twitter amounts to is celebrity stalking. Boo.
Love your blog.
http://indiraadams.wordpress.com
Thank you, indira! I have a feeling most celebrities would block me.
I love your approach to New Year resolutions! Very good stuff here!
Thank you, corey!
Thank you for sharing! Cracked up at the ‘wool’-dog fiasco!!
Well, please pinky swear you won’t try it yourself!
Great post! Preserving the veneers is hard to admit to sometimes, so I often use another excuse. “No I don’t know how to scuba dive, sorry. Oh? You want to snorkel and there’s no training/no tank? I can’t go in the water, I just ate.” I’m right there with you and the others on #6. Let’s limit even the typing of that name. This is the first post of yours I’ve found and I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog…
When you’ve spent as much as I have on my teeth and the only compliment you ever get is, “Hey, great teeth!” you do all you can to protect them from harm. Yes, no more typing of the name that will not be uttered or typed.
I’m so glad you stopped by!
I just settled in to read and saw all these congrats, which means…drum roll please…Freshly Pressed! Whoo hoo! Congrats! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer blogger.
Thank you, Peg – it’s sweet to be recognized once in a while.
Just checking in to make sure you’re ok. Have you had any sleep in the last 36 hours? Eaten anything? Make sure you do your finger exercises to avoid FP carpel tunnel syndrome.
I think the dust is settling, finally. I did take a catnap. Woke up with drool on my keyboard. ewww. Thank you, Peg!
#8 is so essential, and frequently so difficult to remind one’s self of. Mantra: I will not determine any fragment of my self worth by my social media persona.
Words of wisdom – I hear you!
Hey Snoring Dog! I’ve seen your comments on Mostly Bright Ideas and always wanted to visit your blog — congrats on being Freshly Pressed!! I share your conspiracy theories about China trying to kill us.. lead in toothpaste is a mistake?? i think not … and reveled in all your Anti-Resolutions. Happy New Year!!!
Hi, Betty – Wow, you keep pretty darn good company then. Charles is one of the best on the net! I’m very grateful you stopped by. Happy New Year to you, too!
I started #6 half-way through 2011. OVER IT!
You were a much stronger person than me. Awesome!
Great post …. but you should really try hot yoga. It feels amaaaaazing. Really. Do it.
Maybe…maybe not.
Hahah! They need to shut NASA down already…I am a youth…with that said, when I am an adult, I wouldn’t even consider confronting sober youth in my backyard…Kim Kardashian…I wish she was poor and ugly and living in a box. There is nothing she could have possibly done to deserve her fame and riches…ticks me off…
The sad thing is, when Kim K is gone, she’ll be replaced by someone just as vapid and useless.
I love how everyone writes about things they will do in the New Year and here you are writing about things you won’t do. I’ve washed wool – it’s terrible AND you get those small puffs of left over sweater bits that cling to everything. I feel your pain. I, too, hate horses – fifth grade birthday party – scarred me for life. I can pet them, but I definitely don’t want to sit on one…helmeted or not.
It may take me till June to figure out what I do plan on doing in 2012!
Thanks for the laughs!! You helped me complete one of my 2012 daily tasks!!
Excellent! And that’s a great New Year’s resolution for us all.
Pingback: Ten Things I Won’t Do in 2012 | slopestreetcats.com
“10. I’m Not Going to Volunteer to Help NASA Find Alien Life on the Moon”…hahahaha are there volunteers to do that
?
Apparently, there are. I’d want to be paid.
Brilliant…just simply brilliant!! Amen to boycotting anything to do with the KKK (Kim/Khloe/Kourtney/Kris Khardashian Klan) – what a waste of space that family is!
Congrats on Freshly Pressed! This definitely deserved it!
Thank you – and so glad you’re part of my “Just say no to that person who shall never be named again.”
I totally concur with numbers 8 and 9. I don’t do twitter and I was semi-forced into facebook to see the latest pix of my youngest granddaughter. And China, don’t get me started. Also I have a blog, http://contemporarymusings.wordpress.com (I know a shameless way to plug my blog) only gets 2 to 3 hits on any given day. But I won’t give up because it is my feeble attempt to live out a fantasy and become a world famous columnist! Keep up the good work and hang in there (as with your blinds), we all need a laugh now and then.
J.
Well, I’m just going to check out your blog, then!
Yes, a person after my own heart. I love this!!! I will not do those things either; well, two of them I haven’t had the opportunity to find out about and I hope I never confront a drunken kid at my door or dogs attacking my clothesline… lol. Great blog
Val
htttp://valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
Thank you, Val! So glad you stopped by and can use some of these helpful don’ts!
Hmmm, you can share your Chinese conspiracy theories with me, and I won’t ignore them! This year I tried to help America’s economy by buying toys NOT made in China for all the kids on my gift list, only to find that there are NO toys not made in China! Even the expensive German-made toys are “assembled in Germany from parts fabricated in China.” So much for my boycott.
Also, ditto on the Kardashian thing.
Yes. Sigh. The hunt for things not made in China. Been there. Started making things out of sheep’s wool. Not sure anyone will want these smelly things I’m making out of sheep’s wool.
Check out Etsy.com. There are a lot of folks who make items from products made entirely in the USA. By purchasing from these folks, you are also helping the US economy.
I am on board with #6 and all of their ilk. Can you imagine what would happen if we all stopped caring about what they do? We could cave in an entire industry! Talk about a conspiracy!
I like Etsy but there’s too much on there now – it takes hours to find stuff. I have bought things there before. I’ll keep it in mind, though.
love this! entertaining, but also very similar to my list of things i do NOT want to do this year. i also do not want to take more than 4 tequila shots in one evening. i do not want to throw away boxes until i’m certain the product i purchased works well. i do not want to buy clothing i’ll never wear. and i do not want to commit to anything i can’t actually commit to. love your blog. thanks for sharing! can’t wait to read more.
http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com
Thank you, Eva! Obviously, you’ve got a similar blog post you could write – I agree with all of your anti-resolutions, too!
Love #8 … my sentiments exactly!
And here I see your name in lights…..always a pleasure to visit and now the rest of the blogging world will join in. Congrats and I love these anti-resolutions…..
Yes! It’s overwhelming! I could write five more posts of anti-resolutions. But I won’t.
Haha, this is just brilliant. I love your writing style, and I especially like #2, because at one point or another that could have been me.
Oh, that’s hilarious, Tyler! It would have been unfortunate for you. I had a raging attack of bed hair that night.
Thanks! I needed the giggles.
You sound so breezy and casual while making lots of sense and being wonderfully, entertainingly funny.
Ronnie
Well, I’m not so much breezy – more like full of hot air most of the time. But thank you, anyway!
Thanks for this! I had a good laugh. I certainly won´t take up yoga – hot or not hot…
Chuckles. You might not win any popularity contests on Twitter or Facebook, but this post is certainly popular and funny too. I do however agree with you about the Chinese conspiracy. I’ve had too many things made in China fall apart and I don’t even want to eat food grown in China.
The difficulty is finding stuff not made in China! It gets to be a bigger and bigger challenge every year.
Very nice, I’m going to have to put together a list of things that I won’t do this year.
Hopefully you will add to list, “Not Voting for Obama.” Congrats on being chosen for “Freshly Pressed.” Your blog site was a pleasure for the eyes, as well as a good read.
Nope. Not gonna do that. He’s got my vote. Thank you for the compliment even tho we’re miles apart on that other thing…
lol! Love this!
I’m so glad I have checked out the “freshly pressed” on wordpress…this is so funny and I’m glad to have read it! Thanks for the laugh to start 2012!
You are so welcome, Kathleen! Glad you stopped by!
AMEN to #5!! I know it’s good for you. I don’t care. Let everyone else contort themselves whilst sweating– I’m with you! Congrats on Fresh Pressed, this post is tremendously refreshing.
Oh, thank you, Amee – I think that’s a first for me – being called refreshing!
Very Funny!! Loved #6!!!
I can totally relate to all these except with the first 2 which I’ve had no experience in; thank goodness.
I am signing up to follow your posts too; not only for your humor, but the fact you live in Boise. I am currently an exile from Boise living in Southern California. I believe it is because of some strange resident exchange program that I unwittingly signed up for in the 80′s.
Can’t wait to read more.
Oh, you escaped! How fortuitous! I must check into that exchange program. I’m sure I could be exchanged for someone who’d appreciate the quirkiness that is Boise.
My biggest problem with Kim K is that she got married with this big wedding and everything, then got divorced, yet I couldn’t find a single good picture of her wedding dress in the magazines in the doctors’ offices/hair salon. I didn’t bother googling it. Too much of my time. But I’m a sucker for pretty dresses while I’m waiting.
Oh. Well, I’m sure she’d like to put that awful month behind her. And she did, didn’t she?
Nice alternative to the usual New Year’s resolutions!
Amen to this! Good lord that Kardashian is tough to ignore though.
Don’t give in, Ed! Stay strong. There are so many other trivial distractions that are far less destructive.
Hey, get your facts straight. NASA did not ask anyone to search for alien artifacts on the moon; two guys at Arizona State did. Harrumph.
I’m pretty sure my blog policies state that there shall be no “harrumphing” on this blog. Harrumph.
What?! Why, next there’ll be no “huzzahing”, “humbugging” or “hoorahing”. What happened to the blogg o’sfeare I knew as a wee lad?
Uh-oh. You’ve been freshly pressed, which means chaos in the comments section, but I’m going to go ahead and say well done – and funny as can be.
Actually, my very first public resolution was this, verbatim: My first New Year’s resolution: to ignore the impending Mayan apocalypse.”
There’s a whole lot more to ignore, of course, but I don’t have to worry about ignoring Kardashian, because I’m not sure who she is.
Happy New Year!
Lucky you for not knowing the person who shall not be named. Stay ignorant. Very ignorant. Don’t even look at pictures of her. Happy New Year to you, too!
Love it!
Fantastic! You do a whole blog on what we should stop doing…maybe then there would be room for what we need to do
You’re right, you’re right. I’ve probably got another list of 10 or 80 things I won’t do again. If I keep going, I’ll never have to make any resolutions!
I meant – ‘You could do’
I would love to see more – it is the anti-resolution.
Pingback: Top 8: Coisas Que Eu Não Farei em 2012 « 8 Pontos
Love this list. I couldn’t agree more.
Love the list, 6 especially! Great idea, and congrats!
HAHAHA!! Hilarious. I’m particulary fond of #8.
#6 is the best!
I found you in the freshly pressed list for the first time today. The best thing today, was how you got a ton of people talking about “one I will not name” pretty sure if some one looks them up today they will get your blog on the list because the name is there like fifty times…how awesome is that.
It is awesome! Unfortunately, I realize also that I’ve just given the person who shall not be named more publicity. DAMN. I am so over her.
Awesome post
Even if people on Twitter don’t like you, we clearly do ;D Twitter’s the problem anyway. It’s those tiny word count restrictions– what am I supposed to do with 140 characters??? Certainly not making more than one joke.
Believe me, beyhre, I have twitter followers whose sentences don’t even make sense. The abbreviating is destroying the English language.
The part about the dogs attacking the wool made me laugh.
Regarding your blinds…I’m not sure if I understand the problem correctly, but I once had a set of blinds that didn’t fit, and my dad rigged up some wood on the wall above the window frame and attached the blinds to that. It resulted in a crack of light around the edges of the window because the blinds were not inset, but overall, it worked well.
That’s what my brother in law suggested, Rayme! But it’s too late now. They’re up and all I have to do is fill at least 35 holes that I accidentally put in the woodwork.
Wonderful concept Jean, of listing things you won’t do, instead of those you will do. I hope this catches on so we can all be excused from making New Year’s resolutions in the future. I think I would add, if this were my list, that I would not try to get my whole house cleaned before having messy company over. I really must stop doing that.
Congratulations on being FP’d – please enjoy it.
Messy company have no right complaining about a messy house! Thank you for stopping by!
Very cute! How about this one? I will not let Pinterest lead me to believe that I can make scarves out of T-shirts when in fact it takes years of practice, hours of actual time, and loads of patience. Bleh..
Ouch! I couldn’t make a hanky out of a T-shirt – but a scarf?!
Funny list. Great watercolor on the header. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Manoj – Glad you enjoyed the watercolors, too!
I think everyone pretty much covered it, but you put a smile on my face too! First time reading and it was great!
I’m glad I could help out for at least one day!
Why didn’t I think of this?! What a concept I loved it, especially “the social media equivalent of rice cakes” I do like the cheddar flavored ones though, Lol !
Yes, cheddar flavoring at least makes the chewing worthwhile!
A new blogger with a similar mindset: http://intotheeddy.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/baby-steps/
Um, at the risk of sounding like a stalker, where have you been all my life, girlfriend? I agree with ALL of these vows and have signed up as both a subscriber and twitter follower. You can’t disappoint me on FB b/c I’m not there.
Keep on trucking, and thanks for the laughs.
Thank you, Rosie! I need more followers with low standards like you!
Ahhh this list is so refreshing!!
read similar lists here http://spotthestereotype.wordpress.com
I think this means you had an eventful 2011. Great post.
You had me at “washing wool”…. pulled the wool over my eyes…
spread the humor:charlywalker.wordpress.com
Haha – I particularly enjoy the hot yoga item. That’s one activity I’ll never understand!
i like your No.4, lool.
as to No.9, what i hear is now “made in US” is the trend..
anyway, very cute you!!
I hope you’re right about #9! That would be a wonderful transformation for the U.S. Thank you for the compliment!
I love this post! It’s so entertaining!
I love being the neighborhood grouch and yelling at them for being loud too early in the morning.
Hot yoga will definitely help with the weight loss, and hopefully keeping it off too (though I have yet to manage that)
So will cutting off an arm, but I don’t plan on doing that either!
My votes go to #2 and #6, hands down, although I must admit, the others were equally things to avoid. Great post and congrats on being freshly pressed.
http://seemy2012here.wordpress.com
Love this!
Best of luck with #6 because I think that may be impossible. You are so right about her.
I can hope.
This made me laugh! No.6 is my favorite!
That was too funny! (She is dead to me.) – remark about K.Kardashian had me rolling with laughter. So on point. As for me, I will never keep my niece and nephews all day, giving them sugary morsels just because they ask. They all turned into the Devil spawn.
I bet their parents were just thrilled with you!
Great post — I can so relate to #4, having foolishly attempted to roller skate with my grandson recently. While a 52 year old body may bounce a bit more on impact, the recovery period for a sprain wrist and bruised tush convinced me I’m better off on the sidelines. But even that wasn’t as painful as more exposure to #6 on your list!
Roller skating is off my list, too. I’m down to walking and sitting in a lawn chair.
So true about #8! I feel like I get disappointed every time I log-in to twitter and find myself still having one follower. I recently made it but i guess it takes a lot of time for people to find me..;p
It does take time. You have to follow interesting people and be interesting yourself. I just can barely do that.
lol, I love your response.
There are automated systems you can use to follow others and in return ask them to follow you. You can search google for them.
What is your Twitter name? I will follow you
Mine is @TheLifeAtHome
Actually without visiting your site yet, it sounds a lot like mine. I will be visiting shortly.
You sound like you’ve got stories… #2 alone sounds like the makings of a short. As for me, I won’t be getting on a horse either… sounds like the time I thought I could ice skate as an adult just because I was able to do it as a child when I was less than half my current size. Happy new year
We adults are delusional, aren’t we? Happy New Year to you, too!
I wish I could say I won’t ever pay attention to Kim Kardashian again. But that would be like saying I will never eat Doritos in my pantry while no one is looking.
Oh and about the Hot Yoga, it’s just yoga in a room that smells like mexican food and feet. But there’s no food being served.
Enjoyed reading your post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
You’re hilarious! And, at least you’re honest. Come out of the closet on that Doritos thing, girl.
Nice. Although, personally, I’d apply #6 to the entire Kardashian family. Teehee.
Yeah – what is up with that plastic-faced Chris Jenner?
I love this! And I will most undoubtedly Google “things made in China that almost killed me.”
After you do that, you ought to write a post – it’s the humanitarian thing to do.
This is hilarious and so true. I like your attitude. Forget the I wills, go for the I wont’s. I think 2011 was the hardest year out of the past 3 years. I am so thankful for the new year. I understand everything you said. If I have to see another item that does not work…burn them all!
2011 was just disastrous for far too many people. Here’s to optimism and hope, girl!
I hear ya! Optimism and Hope!
9 made my da, ha. Love it all, though. *tips nonexistent hat*
Glad to be of some service! Thank you!
And I will stop trying to steal my sisters’ hair while they sleep. To the future!
Are your sisters bald by now?
Holy s..t….214 responses? I had to double check that! You must have gotten Freshly Pressed behind my back or something. Obviously, you’re up to your eyebrows in social networking now, by golly. I just guess you don’t owe anybody anything. Heck, there’s more reply text on this post than there is post text!
I’ll second every one of your your ten things, ..of course I don’t own wool, so I don’t have to worry about that one…
214. That ought’a keep you busy for a while. I don’t expect a response, my dear. You tend to those new readers!
Linda, I’ll always have time for you! Yes, for a person who likes to keep her inbox under 12 messages, this has been a bit overwhelming!
This is a hilarious post! #5 is something I can relate to that I’ve never tried and I am sooo not interested in trying. I get so uncomfortable when things get hot and can’t relax. Now, add to that fact that hot yoga has a bunch of people sweating probably a little too close to each other and that is a definite no-go.
Sweating indoors is just wrong. All wrong.
So you mean, this is your new year’s resolution?
You have my kind of humor and my kind of look on life. Looking forward to reading more!
Thank you – great minds think alike, you know!
LOL. Actually, since I’m a recovering addict, my list DOES look like this! It’s full of “I will not”, “Do not”, and what-nots! Thanks for making me smile today.
You are so welcome. I’m glad you stopped by!
I’m with you on the Kim and home project resolutions: the Kardashians are like something I can’t think of right now, where I want them to be; and home projects have almost cost me my life, sanity, marriage, ability to read instructions in Chinese, Arabic and French.
Oooh. Just say “no” to those home projects then!
Heya. I did Google “Ten Things Made in China That Almost Killed Me” and found that someone scraped your blog entry. Do you know this person? http://slopestreetcats.com/
you make me smile along the post
Number 7 I love… and Number 6 is so true. I don’t know how she took over the gossip magazines and fashion.
We let her!
“I Will Not Worry About How Many Followers I Have on Twitter or Likes I Have on Facebook” – I like the intention!
#6 doesn’t just apply to Kim. it could also apply to all those other celebrities who are like Kim.
(I say “all those other celebrities” because I’ve forgotten their names.)
He he…I had a friend who did hot yoga — it sounded damn uncomfortable if you ask me but she seemed to enjoy it! Nice post
Thank you. I actually don’t know a soul who does hot yoga.
I kind of stole this idea, and made a post on my blog. Hahaha, I’m totally with you on practically all of these especially the Kardashians and hot yoga. I think I’d rather have a root canal.
I’m glad you did – I hope everyone loves it, too!
I won’t make any resolutions for 2012: http://andreasmoser.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/new-years-resolutions/
Perfect post, I must agree on 3,7 & 8. Happy new year.
This list is so funny! Everyone I read I was nodding along trying to take note lol!
You are welcome to the entire list!
I so much agree with #6 … She’s everywhere.. Whenever I open a site expecting to see “news” , they are all about her.. It is wither what she is wearing or whom she is dating (and dumping ) .. Hilarious post !!!
She’s everywhere alright. She must not sleep. Thank you for coming by!
i love thiss page”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”
http://www.omnibazar.com/
1/24 of a snickers bar begins with good intentions, but ends with a guilty chocolate smile, and some comment along the lines of “screw it”
Yes. You are so right. Just because I consume the other 23/24ths of it a few hours later doesn’t mean I haven’t had a Snickers bar, either.
Eat the whole snickers and worry about it later hehe! Great blog
xx
Good one !
http://www.amiarting.wordpress.com
hahaha, and here i was thinking i was the only one not making goals but offsetting some things ad rather not do in my year… good piece
Thank you and thanks for stopping over!
http://adf.ly/4Wfnc
I’ve been Facebook free for almost a year and a half. Great post….have a great 2012.
I agree on everything, except #1 because we don’t have wool here in sunny Philippines.
I’ll keep that in mind in case I decide to move to a wool-free zone!
Love your post! I too am boycotting all things Kardashian…they are dead to me.
I’m sure if you rode my horses you’d have fun lol
Are they mini horses?
I never wash my wool, just make sure I wear it with something under to avoid sweat. If it gets a stain on it I clean it with cold water.
I did hot yoga once, won’t do it again, sweated too much and destroyed a perfectly fine wool sweater.
I just can’t imagine not washing something. That’s years of dirt and stuff you carry around, eh?
I loved the entire post, as always, but especially this:
“Unless someone can invent a device that counts the calories burned by feeling irritated, frustrated, aggravated, annoyed and enraged, the little credit I get for walking isn’t worth it.”
I’m still waiting for you to start your own religion, SDS. But now you’re going to need a much bigger tent. Happy New Year!
Oh, now I’ve got a religion to start and a country to run? Oh, dear, you and I are going to be very busy, Charles, my second in command.
“10. I’m Not Going to Volunteer to Help NASA Find Alien Life on the Moon” It’s definitely a big NO!
Nice work! Cool!
Thank you!
Fresh Pressed, and wrinkle free unlike me. Attainable goals, too. Great post.
I’ve got plenty of wrinkles. But let’s not go there. Hey, thank you and I’m glad you stopped over!
Loved it.
Read your blog for the first time and now I’m a follower. Plus, I was the 450th person to like your post, doesn’t that sound like I should get something special? :p
Would you like some felted, smelly wool?
This post is very heartfelt and natural! I agree with you in everything especially number 9!
I try, I really do. Actually, I didn’t work that hard on this one. So, I guess it was natural! Thank you!
seriously, its awsome!!
No spending time on Kim K and caring about the twitter and facebook likes.
Everything in your list resemble me. Except NASA! Am not a genius. i had a nice read after a long days. thank you. God bless you
I seem to attract a lot of people like me here! I think I’ll start my own country! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Very interesting post! I can see why you got freshly pressed….I was smiling the whole way through! Loved it!;)
Thank you! I hope the smile stayed with you for a while.
except for the horse, I am there with bells on. I got on a horse once, and got right off again before I could damage anything important.
And you lived to talk about it. Excellent!
Made me smile … Definalty a great take on new years ‘resolutions’
I’m glad! And thank you for coming over!
Fantastic post, smiling like a loony after reading
Going to have to think hard about what my new years resolution will be!? Any suggestions????
I don’t know – such pressure! I’m sure you’ve got something you’d rather never do again? Watch Kim K while riding a horse?
This post made my laugh. I took up hot yoga this time last year. I loved the concept, but the classes were just soooooo hard. I still do a little yoga, but I do it at home and at my own pace, or on Wii Fit.
In the privacy of one’s own home sounds like a sensible move. And you’re nearer to the ice cube trays.
Your No. 5. I Will Not Take Up Hot Yoga, reminded me of the time I waltzed into a try it for free advanced yoga class for the first time! I was ‘caught’ in some amazing-that- I -got -out -of poses!
Amazing post- thanks for sharing.
Do they have anyone there on hand to help you get out of the poses? Ouch. Thank you for stopping by, Malena!
*Grinning* Made me smile after a hard day.
Thank you! 
In my last post – of January 2nd, I had added 4 tips to those who are suffering from ‘Irresolution 2012′. Just in case.
Irresolution – good one! I’ll have to check that out!
very cute and funny…will think about these things…but more important what we will be doing…thanks T from dropopp.com
This was a great post. I’d suggest you’d reconsider 1. Give us canines a break – we need our recreation. I understand 2, 3, 7, and 8. Can’t help commenting on the rest – #4 – I never have and never will #5 – SO TRUE That’s kind of the human equivalent to a canine bone swallowing contest, we dogs just aren’t that dumb. #6 or watch her on TV or listen about her on radio, or…or…or… #9 Give those guys in the helicopters a break. 10# Does NASA still exist? I mean they’re about the only folks in the Government without a budget? Showed this your words of wisdom to my human. He loved it, but suggeted a #11 – “Never say never in 2012.”
Sandy
http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com
You are one wise dog. Could you teach mine a few things?
Good list! Next year I’m never going to procrastinate again.
http://midnightwatcher.wordpress.com/
tee hee!
So glad I found this post, you’ve given me a fit of giggles!
Wholeheartedly agree with all of these – especially number 6.
life/style/flash.
Wonderful! I’m always glad to present someone with a fit of giggles. Hope it fit well!
You made me think if I should do this unpaid NASA internship thing:))
Well, if you need a hobby it’s either that or wool felting…
I love your post. One other thing I won’t do in 2012 is listen to dream killers about what I can or can not do in my home based business. I will have an Ephesians 3:20 life starting now: …exceeding, abundantly above all that I ask or think!
Oh, my gosh, never listen to those pessimists! There lives are crummy maybe but they need not share it! You go, girl!
Hilarious! #7 and #9 are my favorites!
Reading your post today was as refreshing as anything I have read in a while.
And yes, you are famous again, even if it is for a day! I found you on Freshly Pressed! I enjoyed the humor in your posts!
Making healthy resolutions seem to me to be useless. First of all, a commitment to health in my life is non-existent if there is chocolate in the house. I know they say chocolate is good for you, but I don’t think they are talking about M and M’s!
Thanks for the laughs! Drop by and visit my gardens sometime! ~Evie
Dark chocolate M&Ms count! They do! Ah, yes, fame. Tomorrow I shall go back to being anonymous.
Haha! Loved it! You inspired me to write a list of my own. I will also NOT be paying ANY attention to Kim Kardashian or any of the other money grubbers in their family!
Wonderful! We all have things we must resolve to never do – we can let the other list sit untouched for a while.
Pingback: 12 things I won’t do in 2012 | Susan Greeneye
On point 3 (making it a sub-point 3.1) I will never assume that a draft cost on a home improvement project is that and nothing else. > I did a home improvement project 2yrs back, lesson learnt, take the expected cost and double it, that’s how much cash you would need.
Take the expected cost, double it, and throw in a wrenched back, bloodied fingernails, and a bottle of vodka to soothe the pain.
hmm. I would have been OK if I had carried the other bits you just mentioned, so that’s where I went wrong!
Perhaps you will ride a mammoth donkey?
http://www.donkehwhisperer.com
Oops http://www.donkeywhisperer.com is the website for photos and videos of mammoth donkeys safe to ride.
Uh, can I have a pass on that? Can’t I just look at the photos and call it good?
Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My blog site is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my visitors would definitely benefit from some of the information you present here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Thanks a lot!
from this moment on I swear I won’t wash wool and hope for the best))). # 1 is an absolute universal truth!
Oooh. I’ve just done an absolute universal truth! Woohooo! Can I retire from my day job now?
I believe you should skip that 9 theories thing just because I’d like you to talk more about it
CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE A REAL THING PEOPLE.
I think it was a conspiracy that sent you over here.
Ok, #4 is hysterical! I need that on my coffee mug.
That will be a great conversation starter.
I loved your post! It made me smile and chuckle. Just what I needed when 2012 started off rocky for me, what with my little mandolin accident and all. (Read my post http://thestillspot.wordpress.com/2012/01/04/have-you-flopped-on-your-new-years-resolutions-or-goals-yet/ for the details of the new year flop.)
Congratulations and keep up the great work! All the best for 2012!
Thank you – and you’ve got me very curious …
Good luck with the weight thing. I always say I won’t put it back on and then proceed to do that in 1/3 (fraction is for you) of the time I took to take it off.
No kidding! We’re so alike! Thank you for the fraction. I just don’t do decimals.
HAHAHA! I love it! I can relate to almost every bullet except for the druken youth in your backyard.
Hope you never have to experience that, my dear!
I loved the last one, so funny.
Great post. I especially love the bit about the wool and I had no idea NASA was seeking volunteers. I bet people will come out in droves to apply for that.
Oh, I’m sure that there are hordes of people just dying to get their name on an alien. The ones who’ve had relatives taken by them especially!
Kim who?
Bless you, my dearest. You’ve passed the test. You win something.
I love number’s 6 and 8, and I would love to have some elaboration on #2!!!!
Congratulations for making freshly pressed!
#2 background can be found here: http://snoringdogstudio.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/drunk-and-stupid-no-way-to-go-through-my-life/
Thank you!
Love your post, just signed up to follow you. Went back and read your post about felting wool. Trying a new craft always seems so hopeful in the beginning! You’ve cured me of wanting to try felting!
Thanks for sharing and making me smile!
Cured you, eh? Then, I can call it a day. My job is done. I’ve saved the world from more smelly washing machines! You’re welcome and thanks for the follow!
Hilarious post! Thank you.
“Things Made in China That Almost Killed Me” — OK, this is going to be the title of a future blog post of mine.
Love the idea too! If seriously listed, the list go stretch from here to China…LOL!
Go for it!
**CLAPS** #6!!!!! I am SO tired of hearing about that woman. Like Barbara Walters said she has NO talent, yet everyday we have to hear her name.
Remarkable, huh? Sadly, I know that we, the public (not you or me) have contributed to making her popular. That’s what drives all the inane, trivial news stories about her.
LOL, I hate Kardashians
Once I Lose The Rest of My Weight, I’m Never Putting It Back On….Yes, Number 7 is definitely my LOL favorite! Best wishes and congrats for getting picked for Freshly Pressed (i wanna be fresh and pressed too) dEbO http://www.bigglescandoit.com
Thank you for that and I’m glad you stopped over!
I’m a newbie here, and I am struggling to figure out how to add media photos to my blogs without 1st downloading the image to MY COMPUTER…. I put the url address in the media but alas, that did nothing. So adding to the “Ten things not to do in 2012 list for me will be, reading the fine print and important printed stuff 1st! Anyhoooo I truly enjoyed your blog/post and we do share one item from your list and that is the one regarding the
Kardashians, and add one better, I don’t and won’t read or invest a second reading about any of them…. enough already in 2011…will not delve in 2012…. Great post, enjoyed it and your art work is amazing! Never stop your passion, and love those pet babies.
You got me with the computer question. The wordpress folks are pretty helpful – try them. I’ve always had the images on my computer and when I select the “Photo” option I have to go locate them on my hard drive.
Thanks for the compliment and thanks for stopping by!
I agree with you on the Kim Kardashian, though I really never news anything about them until recently (Googled)… Jersey Shore should also be on there with KK.
Oh, yeah, how did I miss that crew of numbnuts?
Interesting way to make improvements on your life…not doing something is a great start. All excellent ideas.
I will not watch one second of Jersey Shore this year. I will not learn who or what Snooky is.
ARRRRGGGH. You mentioned that OTHER one. I didn’t even want to go there.
Very entertaining, great post.
Awe geesh a dog named Sally? What next? I think I have had every Sally song sung to me… LOL! Oh by the way, you want to wash the sheep wool first or you can buy it already washed (that is by hand, and don’t agitate it) Then put small parts of it on a cookie sheet with hot water, agitate it, and then shock it with cold water. There is a Sacramento Artist who makes cowboy hats out of felted wool… and so much other cool stuff!
Hey I Love the art work and notice you are a writer… Check out http://www.the777man.com “The 4 Leaf Clover Blog’s Writing Contest” We are going to be having a lot of fun with this!
Blessings Sallyjane
Ah, where were you when I was gagging over the smell and sight of unclean sheep’s wool? I’ve washed it and it’s quite lovely now. But I’m growing weary of the hobby. Thanks for the link, too – I’ll check it out!
Gosh, I SO agree with SO much on your list. Including the K family. I’m so over them and I never watched them to begin with. I also get/am with you on the Twitter thing, the conspiracy theory thing and the weight thing. One good thing about growing older (even in one’s 30′s!) is mellowing out.
Got a looong way to go but any progress is a goodness.
Great post.
Well, you are wise beyond your years, I’d say. Of course, older age isn’t a requirement for finding the Ks to be completely asinine.
Re: number 7 – consider getting a tapeworm. It will do all the work and you will lose the weight.
Really? I’m not ready to go there yet. I’ve seen those things. I wouldn’t sleep a wink with one of those slithering around inside.
Loved your post, keep up the good work!
Saw myself in most of the facts you stated, especially number 8
I am everywoman, after all! So glad you stopped by and saw the resemblance!
Hahaha, I agree with you on the hot yoga.
Thanks for using the term cattywampus in your post. The only thing I love more than its sound, is seeing it used so perfectly.
I admire your implied slogan; ” Just don’t Do it.”
Congrats on being Pressed.
I love that word, too! It substitutes for a long string of words to describe the event. Yes. Just don’t Do it! Marvelous and thank you!
I think Kim kardashian such a beautiful alien from mars,.
Cute I like your new years resolutions, hope you follow through with them.
1coffeehouse.wordpress.com
A friend of mine coaxed me to follow her to those hot yoga classes. The hall stinks of pee. If I wanted some warmth, I’ll have a nice bubble bath, please.
Ewww. Now I’m sure I’ll never try it!
Reblogged this on A Model of Life.
Thank you! I’ll stop on by.
#9 I disagree with you. Voicing out your theories doesn’t need the awareness of others. It’s a simple way of catering out your thoughts and ideas. Ha, on the contrary, you should never give up. Try and try until you succeed.
I really don’t have any sane or rational conspiracy theories – and the nature of conspiracy theories is very often they’re not – mine are more like little rants borne out of frustration.
Lol this is a very funny post. I love random, rants like this. Very entertaining and I totally agree with very many of those.
-Haleigh <3
It was a very random post – I knew that when I was writing it! But it felt right for my first post of the New Year. Thank you for coming by!
Great, great, great post! Love it!
Just wanted to comment on your conspiracy theories. I have the same. I discuss them all the time and want to blog about them, but am afraid the funny white men in their funny white coats will come and get me.
Case in point, i am busy writing a novel with very sensitive issues pertaining to China, and must sayI became a little oprehensive in doing the research on some of the issues. Maybe they have some crawlers on the web to see who is googling sensitive issues. LOL!
I am of the firm opinion that China is slowly slowly encroaching on the rest of the world and their callousness will be the end of us.
See let me not get started, as here I am writing an epistle already!
I am going to bookmark you, perhaps we can exchange some theories! Congrats on FP.
Honestly, I don’t believe in conspiracy theories – but I do believe that we’ve underestimated the power that China could become. Thank you for stopping by!
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Very, very, very Cool!
This is a great idea… I think I want to write a post like this. Conrats on the fp!
We could start a revolution with our anti-resolutions! Go for it! And thank you.
I like your thinking. It’s not always easy knowing what your not going to do. don’t be surprised if you forget and do something you swore you wouldn’t do. It’s happened to me to many times.
I know – that worries me. Especially the losing weight one!
Well said! I like your humor.
Ha ha. Such a great read – so glad I took the time to visit your blog. Looking forward to reading more. Have a happy “won’t be doing” new year!
You, too. And thank you for taking the time!
This is a great list! Thanks for sharing!
You are quite welcome. Thank you for visiting!
#9 Conspiracy theories? Are they subjective points of view that one disagrees with? Are they factual events that one blocks out by dismissing the evidence? Meh. The Zeitgeist movies on Youtube are perfect examples of this kind of stuff.
I love your artwork. So talented and creative. Congrats on being FP’d!
Oh, I think they’re quite subjective. I think there’s barely the hint of objectivity within them. I’ve never looked at the Zeitgeist movies on YouTube. I’m only slightly interested to check them out. But I might. Or not.
Thank you for stopping by. I’m always glad when someone notices the art.
A great set of New Year no resolutions you have here. Numbers 1,3,5 and 6 are my favourites. Especially 6 with that silly Kardashian woman. I had to wade through your 400+ comments to get to this point, but I’m really happy for you. Congratulations for making Freshly Pressed.
Thank you, dear pie! I’m glad you stuck with it!
It’s quite a good idea, this. I will steal your keeping-conspiracy-theories-to-myself one if you don’t mind. (I’m actually quite curious about the things from China that nearly killed you!)
Oh, they didn’t do anything to me personally. Not to say they won’t try, though…
Well said! I love your post. It is really hard to stay away from Kim Kardashian. Even Daily Mail has succumbed to the Kardashian clan. There’s always a new post/story about them nearly every week!! Eek!
Though I’d like to actually ride a horse, I fear the animal too much to even go near it! :S.
Anyway, have a great 2012!!
We have news about them every day. Every day. There ought to be a law. You have a great 2012, too!
Great post! Love them all.
Sarah
Just found your blog… and just saying… I totally agree with you about China trying to kill us. I thought I was the only one that thought that.
Well, I don’t think it all the time. Just maybe 75% of the time.
Wonderful artwork on the header. Add one more to your list #Never to think about leaving art
Absolutely! It’s like oxygen! Thank you.
This made me laugh, I agree with number 8, that is always in the back of my mind. Trying to interesting all time when I’m not.
No one can be interesting all the time – but Facebook and Twitter puts pressure on us to be!
#5 made me laugh out loud
Good! Hope you were somewhere where that’s okay to do!
Don’t worry, I live in Asia, where there are plently of beautiful beaches to do this on
I just realized that I commented on the wrong post!
Congratulations on getting freshly pressed:D
Thank you so much! Glad you stop by whichever post you land on!
Personally, I’m not ever going to read through 4oo-plus comments again. Never. Do you know how long that took?
You are one avid, supportive reader. I ought to pay you for what you went through!
WOOHoo! I knew you rock! Congratulations, SDS.
I read the post about the felt birds and before I could say anything, this post’s #2 came. And now I am chuckling.
Always thrilled when you stop by, Priya! I’m still working on the birds, but I took a break. They were taking up too much time!
This was an awesome post, so glad I read it! I am tired of seeing New Year’s resolutions- this twist is far more worth my time. Best of luck on not repeating all the stupid things. I find that repetition of dumb behavior comes so easy, we forget that we are doing it all over again.
Congrats on FP!
Thank you! Well, I have a feeling I’ll at least remember the wool and the horse ones.
I loved the 8 one, every true from my part as well.
Fortunately, it’s a big world wide web out there – room for all of us, even the rice cakes version of social media enthusiasts.
It was worth reading just to read “cattywampus”….still laughing
Ahhhh, thank you! I do love that word. It’s so fun to write and to say!
LOVE this!! I’m right there with you, especially for #6!
Great! You’re officially a member of my just say “no” to the person who shall not be named.
Whoa!!! I think there is a new movement afoot….. Occupuppy Snoring Dog Studio……
I have to remind you, Jim – I hate camping. So, I’ll occupy, but it’s gotta’ be indoors with functioning plumbing and heat.
I loved numbers 6 and 8!! Thanks for this post — I smiled the whole way through.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! And welcome to my little studio.
Nice post! I may try no. 8, I really want to cut down on usage of Social media because like you said I’m not one of these people who people say…Hey you have to follow him!
I panicked one day after trying to keep up with three social media sites and then cancelled my LinkedIn account. Wow, that was a lot of reading!
I love love love love LOOOOOOOVE this!
Brilliant list! Thumbs up
No 8 will get 10 points but does tapeworm really make you hungry? I thought it is the opposite.
I think so. It consumes the nutrients the host should be getting.
This entry is really interesting.
I found this entirely entertaining. And just to be certain, as a random wordpresser, I actually am interested in your conspiracy theories. And the dog food thing drives me crazy. I wish I could afford/have time to make my dog’s food from scratch with like, organic and whole ingredients. Anyway, fantastic post. Glad you made it to the wordpress front page!
The Chinese one is my only conspiracy theories. Using superior intellect and haranguing, I’ve proved all the others false. : -)
I laughed 10 times. Probably more. But definitely 10 times. The blinds… Oh how I relate!
Wonderful! Hanging blinds are the one home chore I detest. I’d rather scrub toilets.
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So glad I found this blog. It’s reassuring to know there are artists somewhere other than LA or New York. Love the perspective.
Oh! And I’ve been to Boise. Gorgeous place – in summer
I’m glad you did, too! Yes, I’m a small fish in a small pond but that’s okay. I get to avoid all that traffic. Boise is a delight in the spring and fall, too!
I can barely bring myself to do regular yoga. Like you said, I have no clue what hot yoga is…but it doesn’t sound good.
This was Freshly Pressed and I missed it. =( Late congrats to you!
It’s that bendy, stretchy exercise thing. And it’s hot. Thank you!
I really like this…I use to be over weight and now its been 5 years and I have managed to keep off the weight. It becomes a habit if you are consistent with it. I wanna make ping blog to this, if you don’t mind.
Please do – and congrats for you – that’s admirable and wonderful to have changed your lifestyle enough to sustain the weight loss. I hope to get there soon!
Reblogged this on A Girl.
This is so funny and witty!!!!